therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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