return my video game
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Randomize
