So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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