My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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