if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
