I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
