So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Randomize
