She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
