Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
