I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
