I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
