dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
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