...so i touched it.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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