why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Randomize
