Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
