hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
