I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
