she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
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