She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
