Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
this will be a night to untag.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Randomize
