umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
