Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
