fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
