I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
