I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize
