Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
