The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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