can u get pink eye on your cock?
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
