Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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