i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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