I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
