I got chris browned last night
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Do you remember whose house we're in?
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
