I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
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