Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Randomize