Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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