and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
