Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
