at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
