Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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