Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I FOUND THE LEGS
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Randomize
