I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
