We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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