it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
