dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
