he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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