Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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