So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
