high people should be assigned attendants
It's just like the Real World with babies
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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