gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Randomize
