she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
