so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize
