3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
